Marriage Struggling?
MARRIAGE STRUGGLING? HERE’S WHY.
1. When you were dating you thought to yourself, “When we get married, I will change him/her.” That introvert personality will come out of their shell. Those strange irritating habits will fall by the wayside. This is equivalent to believing a dog can teach a cat to bark. It won’t happen. One’s personality is not a sin. Sin lies in character, morals, ethics, and behavior but not in personality.
2. Heading down the aisle, you were quite sure the two of you were of one mind in thought and purpose – but time has proven otherwise. There was more of a distance between the two of you when you said “I do” than you could have ever imagined. That unknown distance is the unexplored territory that marriage reveals. All marriages are programmed to fail if this territory is not navigated with humility and wisdom. To neglect this piece of real estate is to run from responsibility.
3. Recognize that all your expectations before you got married were performance based. “If I can get him/her to change, then I will have a happy marriage.” When such expectations are not realized, the lingering weight of disappointment only exacerbates the situation.
4. Love is not based on what your spouse can do for you but what you can do for your spouse.
5. Proverbs 18:17 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” If this verse could be measured in speed, it would be lighting fast. If measured in power, it would be 500-horse power. If measured in bytes, it would be a million gigs. Tattoo this verse on the back of your eyelids and let it be the guide for your tongue all the days of your life. What you say to your spouse does not reveal their heart, but yours (Matt.12:34).
6. When the changes you were counting on didn’t happen, angry words are exchanged. Attacks and counter attacks become the norm. Both sides begin to retreat into their own private world of work, TV, video games, and endless hours of entertainment to deaden the pain. Emotional or legal divorce is soon to follow.
7. We can control what we eat, but we cannot control what we hear. We can remove what goes into our mouth but not what goes into the ear, which is the gateway to the soul. Once it is said, it cannot be retracted.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
1. It is never too late to get things back on track. It will take courage, time, energy, wise counsel, and most of all humility.
2. Take a hard look at your contribution to the demise of the marriage. Do not focus on your spouse’s failures. That is their responsibility, not yours
3. Once the two of you have taken careful inventory of your failure, you will need to seek forgiveness from the other. This is not just saying I’m sorry but looking your spouse in the eye and stating what you have done to damage the relationship and saying “Will you forgive me for…..?”
4. You will then need to plan out a strategy for how you will deal with conflict in the future. There will need to be ongoing maintenance to keep the marriage on a biblical track. Marriage requires work and lots of it. Even the best of marriages require time and energy. The cruise control on your car works well on the highway but cruise control in marriage will result in a wreck.
5. Follow God’s blueprint, and leave the results to Him.
Thrift Store Partnership
We are pleased to announce our partnership with Door of Hope as they open a new SACS Family Thrift Store location in Sterling. Door of Hope, a non-profit charitable organization based out of Ashburn, VA has partnered with local churches in Nicaragua, Haiti and Sierra Leone to provide assistance in addressing the oppression, poverty, disease and lack of education opportunities that keep much of the world’s population spiritually lost. Door of Hope collects, sorts and ships used clothes to these poverty-stricken areas which are resold, creating funds for clean water development, employment training, job opportunities, improved sanitation and more than anything else, bringing the hope of Christ to impoverished people.
Your donation of gently used clothing and household items will make a difference in many lives. Through the new Family Thrift Store in Sterling, we are able to make low-cost items available to our local in-need community. Funds from the thrift store directly fund the various international projects mentioned above. In the near future, some of the funds raised will be used to further serve our local community as well. As our partnership with Door of Hope grows, it is our desire to have opportunities to make fully devoted followers of Christ through our relationships with the local customers of the new Sterling location.
HOW TO GET INVOLVED
Donate Items: A large white trailer will be in the RBC parking lot for you to drop off donations of clothing and household items on Sunday mornings. Stop by the Welcome Desk if you would like a receipt for your donation. If you are interested in making a donation during the week, the store is located at 21430 Cedar Drive, Sterling, 20164 (click here for a map). The donation trailer is located behind the store.
Work at the Thrift Store: If you are interested in volunteering to help sort and price items in the store, click here.
Father-Daughter Dance Recap
In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of (sigh) baseball.
It’s true. But before spring hits, February 14th peeps around a wintery corner and we find an affectionate group meandering the Children’s Ministry halls for the 2nd annual Father / Daughter Dance. This is my personal favorite event of the year for our little ladies who come with hair curled, cheeks blushed and a curtsey-worthy gown for a night of fun and conversation with their fathers or special date (who also dress the part in a suit and tie). The evening starts off with fathers tokening their young ladies with corsages and a formal photo shoot. From there, it’s delightful chaos as they spend their evening walking through a couple hundred helium balloons while visiting crafts rooms, eating desert, and finally, dancing the night away!
Yes, it’s meant to be fun and enjoyable (and I think it’s safe to say, it is!), but there is something much deeper at work on this special night. Gavin Long, an RBC dad who attended with his lovely ladies, shares from his perspective:
“The worlds of a father and his young daughter can sometimes be vastly different. Dads are battling in the marketplace, while their daughters are concerned about who likes them at school. Dads are anticipating March Madness, while his daughter is dreaming of a new dress. The Valentine’s Dance creates a common experience to let those two worlds converge. Dads are not always the best when it comes to expressing their feelings, but events like the Valentine’s Dance provide fathers with an environment to connect with their daughters in an intentional and intimate way. Simple events like this go a long way in bridging the potential divide between the worlds of fathers and daughters, providing us, as fathers, with a powerful, but accessible way of communicating love to our little girls. It is that experience of fatherly love that dramatically shapes how our girls think about themselves, their families and God throughout their lives.”
Last year, we received numerous responses back from dads telling us that this night was a springboard for them to initiate a deeper relationship with their girls. Praise the Lord! This year, I was able to see some of the benefits before the night even ended. You’ve got to love overhearing a 2nd grade daughter asking her dad, “I have three things I really like about you. Can I say more than one?”