You’re a mother – and the evidence of this sobering fact bears heavily upon your emotional constitution with every passing day.  You’ve changed diapers, wiped runny noses, cooked ten thousand meals and washed as many floors.  You either have, or will experience all the stages attendant with this great title.

The first stage demands your constant attention as your “candle goeth not out by night” explaining that ghosts don’t exist or that nightmares are nothing to worry about.  Morning comes sooner than you would like with its verbal barrage of “Billy hit me,” “David’s trying to eat his cereal with a fork!” “Have you seen my underwear mom? Huh? Huh?”  You have learned by experience that facing the music at this early hour is merely the prelude of what is to follow.  By nightfall, you’ve had it.  If you hear one more question like “Do worms yawn?” or “Where does the white go when the snow melts?” you’ll scream.  Each day takes its toll, and you pay it faithfully – because you’re a mother.

Like a tidal wave, the teenage years break upon the shore line of your life, unannounced and unprepared for.  You trade in your bib for boxing gloves.  New demands and new challenges force your hand.  Nursery rhymes won’t cut it.  You’re a counselor whose sensitivity and advice must be couched in love.  You’re dealing with tender hearts that question self-worth and life’s values, but you’re always there – because you’re a mother.

As your children leave the nest, you pose for a different picture.  You’re a grandmother – and this mountain top experience offers a breathtaking view of the past, present and future.  It gives you a chance to experience the contentment of knowing that you have helped to landscape the lives of those whom God lovingly calls  “the fruit of the womb.”  You’re a bit older and a bit wiser now, and if the truth were known, you wouldn’t trade it for anything.  It is for this reason that today and everyday we rise up and call you blessed – because you’re a mother.

MARRIAGE STRUGGLING? HERE’S WHY.

1.   When you were dating you thought to yourself, “When we get married, I will change him/her.” That introvert personality will come out of their shell. Those strange irritating habits will fall by the wayside. This is equivalent to believing a dog can teach a cat to bark. It won’t happen. One’s personality is not a sin. Sin lies in character, morals, ethics, and behavior but not in personality.

2.   Heading down the aisle, you were quite sure the two of you were of one mind in thought and purpose – but time has proven otherwise. There was more of a distance between the two of you when you said “I do” than you could have ever imagined. That unknown distance is the unexplored territory that marriage reveals.  All marriages are programmed to fail if this territory is not navigated with humility and wisdom.  To neglect this piece of real estate is to run from responsibility.

3.   Recognize that all your expectations before you got married were performance based.  “If I can get him/her to change, then I will have a happy marriage.”  When such expectations are not realized, the lingering weight of disappointment only exacerbates the situation.

4.   Love is not based on what your spouse can do for you but what you can do for your spouse.

5.   Proverbs 18:17 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” If this verse could be measured in speed, it would be lighting fast. If measured in power, it would be 500-horse power. If measured in bytes, it would be a million gigs. Tattoo this verse on the back of your eyelids and let it be the guide for your tongue all the days of your life. What you say to your spouse does not reveal their heart, but yours (Matt.12:34).

6.   When the changes you were counting on didn’t happen, angry words are exchanged. Attacks and counter attacks become the norm. Both sides begin to retreat into their own private world of work, TV, video games, and endless hours of entertainment to deaden the pain. Emotional or legal divorce is soon to follow.

7.   We can control what we eat, but we cannot control what we hear. We can remove what goes into our mouth but not what goes into the ear, which is the gateway to the soul. Once it is said, it cannot be retracted.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

 1.   It is never too late to get things back on track. It will take courage, time, energy, wise counsel, and most of all humility.

 2.   Take a hard look at your contribution to the demise of the marriage. Do not focus on your spouse’s failures. That is their responsibility, not yours

3.   Once the two of you have taken careful inventory of your failure, you will need to seek forgiveness from the other. This is not just saying I’m sorry but looking your spouse in the eye and stating what you have done to damage the relationship and saying “Will you forgive me for…..?”

 4.   You will then need to plan out a strategy for how you will deal with conflict in the future. There will need to be ongoing maintenance to keep the marriage on a biblical track. Marriage requires work and lots of it. Even the best of marriages require time and energy. The cruise control on your car works well on the highway but cruise control in marriage will result in a wreck.

 5.   Follow God’s blueprint, and leave the results to Him.

How many times in life have you been told that you are making a big deal out of something that is very small? We often refer to this as “making a mountain out of a mole hill.” But is it not possible that we are just as guilty of making mole hills out of mountains? How often do we say “It’s no big deal” when in fact it is a very big deal? Consider these words from scripture:

“I will set nothing wicked before my eyes” (Psalm 101:3)

If we took this mountain seriously, what would we have to remove from our TV diet? Are these little mole hills punctuated throughout the landscape of God’s word, or are they monstrous mountain ranges strategically placed for our protection? To say it’s no big deal what I read or what I watch is to say that Jesus was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I don’t think we want to go there.

What about the poor? The scriptures are replete about caring for the poor, yet it seems to have fallen into the mole hill category. What did our Savior say about materialism?

“A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions” (Luke12:15, NIV)

I realize the list could go on and on, and I am well aware that a form of legalism looms when we see these as performance issues so that God will love us more. Mountains are in the Bible as a gift from God so that we may live life to the fullest, which is in direct opposition to earning His love. The church in our western society has fallen prey to calling holiness legalism. I don’t write this from the standpoint of pastor-to-flock, but from my own personal battle of having seen mountains become mole hills.  I guess you could say I have been taking inventory to see if I am truly growing in grace and not legalism.

Would you be willing to see if your life is measuring up to His teachings? You will be glad you did, for I prefer mountains to mole hills any day.

Remember when Bill Maher, the political satirist and comedian, accused former Vice President Dick Cheney of lying? Coinciding with his attack on Cheney’s character was Tiger Woods’ confession of adultery. Both Maher and Woods are atheists. All atheists believe that we are nothing more than chemicals wrapped in skin. We do what we do based on chemical reactions driven by random electrical stimuli.

So if I understand these men correctly, the human race is made up of six and half billion bags of fertilizer. My question is this: If one bag of fertilizer thinks that lying is wrong, what right does that bag have to impose its moral standards on another bag that can’t help but lie because its chemical makeup dictates that it do so? And why would another bag publicly confess to having numerous affairs with other bags? Is not such a confession implying that it is wrong to behave in such a manner?

And are there not other “God-denying” bags that think killing and stealing is wrong? Seven out of the Ten Commandments have to do with moral values. Tiger, Bill, and like-minded bags seem to be pushing their moral values on the rest of us sad sacks. Strangely, when we try to return the favor with the same set of values we are called self-righteous, right winged fanatics. Do I detect a double-standard in which one set of bags has the right to inflict its moral standard on all other bags? Since Christian bags hold to the same value as atheistic bags , why are we marginalized and seen as judgmental?

Well, I must bring this to a close because the chemicals in this bag tell me that it is time to fertilize my lawn. As an aside, here is a helpful hint to have a great-looking lawn. Always buy the fertilizer with the highest moral standards – unless your chemical makeup tells you otherwise. The standards are written on the sides of each bag. The highest standards guarantee a thick, green, weedless lawn and that is the kind of lawn I like. So do atheists.